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Seldom do I have breaking news of great consequence to report on this page. So, with great fanfare, I am proud to announce that EyeNet will appear each and every month starting in 2012. What? You hadn’t noticed that your favorite trade publication has been issued 10 times a year? Yep, we were missing August and December. Cleverly, we disguised the fact with the use of the good old slash: July/August and November/December. Still, for two months a year a lot of readers complained about the repetitive hike out to the street-side mailbox from their estate, looking to no avail for EyeNet. And, with the logarithmic expansion of knowledge, there was simply too much ophthalmic news that got backed up over the summer and during the holidays. Finally, the Academy is all about expanding free member benefits while keeping dues at a reasonable level.
(Disclosure: paid advertisement by the management.)
So those are the real, publicly announced reasons we went from 10 issues to 12 a year. But, as with most decisions you hear about after the fact, there are a whole bunch of meta-reasons. I learned a long time ago that decision makers are swayed by the meta-reasons, like undisclosed conflict of interest, desire to make their own jobs easier, and need to quiet the opposition. The existence of meta-reasons explains why you are wasting your breath arguing about the validity of the public reasons. So we give you the top 10 meta-reasons that would never have occurred to you why EyeNet went from 10 to 12.
10x to 12x: Our Top 10 Meta-Reasons
10. We were losing out for ads and readership to Oprah’s monthly magazine.
9. Cheaper by the dozen. When did you ever buy 10 eggs at the store?
8. Why not a baker’s dozen? Triskaidekaphobes would quake.
7. Our editors opted for health care coverage instead of two vacations.
6. Ten is two too few (Is 10 2 few 4 u?).
5. Forget metric! There are 12 inches to a foot.
4. We lose money on every issue but intend to make it up on volume.
3. 12 for the price of 10? Just keeping up with the SGR.
2. Obsessive-compulsive readership likes monthly regularity.
1. Ophthamology has 12 letters in it.